THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH

Reading a quote recently from an unnamed source generated a smidgen of curiosity from this writer. The quote was simple: "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it'll always get you the right ones." Is that so? I wonder.

Would it not be safe to assume that most of us would rather have an honest friend than one that with youthful exuberance wreaks havoc with the truth? Would not the reader rather reside next to an upstanding citizen than experience the unpleasant reality of neighboring with a thief? The point, obviously, is that an honest, trustworthy person is one whom others do not normally tend to avoid whereas a dishonest individual is.

The above quote is perhaps based upon the unproven premise that the world in which we live is not exactly bursting at the seams with honest people. In fact, taken at face value the quote would seem to suggest the exact opposite is true inasmuch as it implies that being truthful places one in the minority of those few and increasingly dwindling "right ones" who value honesty.

While it may very well be true that honesty is progressively becoming a relic of the past, and while it may also be a valid point that not very many people today desire to hear the truth, it might be just as safe to assume that the above quote may, in fact, be suggesting something totally to the contrary. What meaneth the writer? Read on.

This writer does not claim to know the intent of the one from whom the quote in question originated. Neither is this writer attempting to make the proverbial mountain out of a molehill as one might be tempted to conclude. As stated earlier, the quote referenced in this post elicited an interest in this blogger that he now conveys in words.

Thus, in meditating upon this quote it is quite possible that the intent of the quotes originator was to encourage others to speak their minds (even when truth is uttered) and let the chips fall where they may. No matter the circumstances just take the attitude expressed with the words "I'll speak my mind come what may at whatever costs!"

I beg to disagee if this is the scenario presented by some who use the quote. It is far better to withhold one's opinion if by failing to do so would serve only to cause harm and/or division. If the reader's neighbor were to ask if his wife is ugly honesty might compel you to answer in the affirmative. But to salvage a friendship and seek peace, the reader would be better served not to offer an opinion at all. In other words, keeping one's mouth shut is on many occasions a better policy than opening it and uttering the truth.

Of course this writer is aware that there are times when the truth should and must be told. We are not speaking here of compromising the truth for the sake of getting along with error. Those who regularly read this blog know the truth as I understand it is regularly proclaimed and defended from these pages. This entry is dealing with interpersonal relationships. When constructive criticism is warranted it must always be applied with love and concern for the one being corrected.

Has the reader had the distasteful experience of encountering someone who by all indications never appears to have an unspoken thought? You've undoubtedly heard it said of another that "if they're thinking it, it's bound to come out." In other words, if a thought arises in the mind of the person of whom I write, one can rest assured that the thought, be it kind or otherwise, will very soon find expression through the avenue of the tongue.

This writer is acquainted with some whom the previous paragraph aptly describes. They care not who they hurt as long as their unsolicited opinion - though in some cases contains the truth - is uttered for all in attendance to digest with the same glee with which one would consume Caster Oil. The words, "Well, I can't help who this offends, but..." or similar careless expressions are often the trigger mechanism for what amounts to nothing more than the egotistical ramblings of immature minds. Is this scenario the true path to abiding friendship? I think not.

My friends, those who fail to bridle the tongue are not wise. May it also be stated clearly that never having an "unspoken thought" is no virtue, as some would inexplicably argue, and should therefore garner one considerable pity rather than contrived respect.

The Psalmist wrote, "I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me" (39:1). The Hebrew word for "bridle" suggest something along the lines of a muzzle. In other words, David said, "I will put a muzzle over my mouth!" In more cases than not we should do the same.

James knew all too well the dangers of the tongue. He called the tongue "a fire, a world of iniquity" that "defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell" (James 3:6). In verse 8 of that same chapter James pulled no punches stating unequivocally, "But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."

In closing, while some take the position that stating the truth "at all costs" is the way to enduring friendship, the Bible states a contrary view. "Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins" reads Proverbs 10:12. Let us emulate the example of the Psalmist David and muzzle the tongue in insignificant matters. Contrary to popular opinion, not everyone is dying to hear what we have to say, even it it's the truth. Friendship abounds when honesty sometimes compels one to be silent.

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer." ~ Psalm 19:14